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5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth and Other Useful Guides

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (and Other Useful Guides)

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5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth and Other Useful Guides

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (and Other Useful Guides)

4.85 90,220 ratings · 1,674 reviews
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Overview: Prepare to laugh your ass off. The hilarity of TheOatmeal.com is now presented in book form with 35 never-before-seen pieces and 25 classic favorites from the Web site, including 6 Types of Crappy Hugs and 17 Things Worth Knowing about Your Cat.In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes.Inman creates these quirky scenes for theoatmeal.com, which launched in July 2009 and already has more than 82 million page views. In fact, every 15 to 30 seconds, someone Googles one of theoatmeal.com's creations. Now, 60 of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.

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Book details & editions

ISBN
9260507
Publication date
October 1, 2010
Language
Eng
Pages
N/A pages
Reading Options
PDF · EPUB · Mobi
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Matthew Inman
About the Author
Matthew Inman
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After spending years working in the corporate world, Matthew Inman finally decided to pursue a lifelong passion for writing. They currently reside in a quiet suburb where they spend most of their time outlining new stories, reading extensively, and occasionally attempting to bake.

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William Lopez
William Lopez November 20, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Jacob Baker
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
George Gonzalez
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A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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David Perez August 06, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
David Gomez
David Gomez October 15, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Andrew Jones April 15, 2025
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Ashley Wilson
Ashley Wilson December 01, 2025
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
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Cynthia Perez July 01, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Joshua King
Joshua King December 15, 2024
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Linda Collins
Linda Collins January 18, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
Margaret Torres
Margaret Torres April 18, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Laura Baker
Laura Baker August 21, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Linda Walker
Linda Walker June 18, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
John Johnson
John Johnson January 22, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
James Scott
James Scott May 22, 2024
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
Linda Walker
Linda Walker May 27, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Kimberly Wilson
Kimberly Wilson September 04, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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David Walker September 04, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
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Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Mary Moore
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Nicholas Rivera October 28, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Donna Brown
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A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Mary Torres
Mary Torres December 12, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Jessica Edwards
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Anthony Harris
Anthony Harris September 18, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Donna Brown
Donna Brown November 07, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
George Cruz
George Cruz February 20, 2025
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Kimberly Baker
Kimberly Baker March 29, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Patricia Hill
Patricia Hill October 22, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Brian Johnson
Brian Johnson March 03, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Jacob Mitchell
Jacob Mitchell August 21, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
Cynthia Perez
Cynthia Perez June 04, 2024
A decent, if standard, experience. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
David Hill
David Hill July 18, 2024
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
Karen Campbell
Karen Campbell June 25, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Laura Miller
Laura Miller July 04, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
Emily Martin
Emily Martin November 27, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Robert  Davis
Robert Davis June 17, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Kimberly Reyes
Kimberly Reyes November 13, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Mark Rivera
Mark Rivera February 04, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Donna Harris
Donna Harris January 27, 2024
An acceptable diversion. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
James Clark
James Clark January 26, 2024
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. A fair 3 stars.
George Nelson
George Nelson June 07, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
Ashley Martinez
Ashley Martinez September 15, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Jacob Mitchell
Jacob Mitchell July 01, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Jennifer Johnson
Jennifer Johnson April 02, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Gary Garcia
Gary Garcia January 29, 2024
An acceptable diversion. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. A fair 3 stars.
Michelle Mitchell
Michelle Mitchell May 24, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
Kenneth Brown
Kenneth Brown July 25, 2025
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
John Walker
John Walker April 12, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Patricia Scott
Patricia Scott January 31, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Brian Flores
Brian Flores August 09, 2024
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Donna Williams
Donna Williams January 27, 2024
An acceptable diversion. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. A fair 3 stars.
Rebecca Hill
Rebecca Hill May 26, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Linda Martin
Linda Martin July 25, 2024
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Stephanie Gomez
Stephanie Gomez June 12, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Margaret Miller
Margaret Miller September 28, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Donald Harris
Donald Harris December 11, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
Mark Flores
Mark Flores December 10, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Donald Brown
Donald Brown July 27, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Sandra Ramirez
Sandra Ramirez January 05, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Michelle Torres
Michelle Torres February 17, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
Robert  Davis
Robert Davis January 06, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Donna Martinez
Donna Martinez April 23, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Sandra Ramirez
Sandra Ramirez May 21, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Charles King
Charles King April 11, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Linda Gomez
Linda Gomez January 29, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
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