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The Truth About Grief: The Myth of Its Five Stages and the New Science of Loss

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The Truth About Grief: The Myth of Its Five Stages and the New Science of Loss

4.85 35,544 Ratings
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Editor's Note:
The five stages of grief are so deeply imbedded in our culture that no American can escape them. Every time we experience loss—a personal or national one—we hear them recited: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The stages are invoked to explain everything from how we will recover from the death of a loved one to a sudden environmental catastrophe or to the trading away of a basketball star. But the stunning fact is that there is no validity to the stages that were proposed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross more than forty years ago. In The Truth About Grief, Ruth Davis Konigsberg shows how the five stages were based on no science but nonetheless became national myth. She explains that current research paints a completely different picture of how we actually grieve. It turns out people are pretty well programmed to get over loss. Grieving should not be a strictly regimented process, she argues; nor is the best remedy for pain always to examine it or express it at great length. The strength of Konigsberg’s message is its liberating force: there is no manual to grieving; you can do it freestyle. In the course of clarifying our picture of grief, Konigsberg tells its history, revealing how social and cultural forces have shaped our approach to loss from the Gettysburg Address through 9/11. She examines how the American version of grief has spread to the rest of the world and contrasts it with the interpretations of other cultures—like the Chinese, who focus more on their bond with the deceased than on the emotional impact of bereavement. Konigsberg also offers a close look at Kübler-Ross herself: who she borrowed from to come up with her theory, and how she went from being a pioneering psychiatrist to a New Age healer who sought the guidance of two spirits named Salem and Pedro and declared that death did not exist. Deeply researched and provocative, The Truth About Grief draws on history, culture, and science to upend our country’s most entrenched beliefs about its most common experience.

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Released December 22, 2010
Identifier (ISBN) 8977243
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Ruth Davis Konigsberg
The Mind Behind the Work
Ruth Davis Konigsberg

Ruth Davis Konigsberg writes contemporary fiction and has always been fascinated by character-driven stories. They hold a degree in English Literature and previously worked as an editor before transitioning to writing their own books. Ruth Davis Konigsberg lives with their spouse and a very vocal rescue cat.

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Critical Reception & Reviews

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Lisa Wilson
Lisa Wilson January 24, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem."
Ryan Allen
Ryan Allen November 17, 2025
"Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars."
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Christopher Robinson
Christopher Robinson February 16, 2024
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
Karen Torres
Karen Torres August 29, 2025
"Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me."
Thomas King
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"Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem."
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Gary Baker
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"I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Mary Moore
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"Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem."
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars."
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"I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars."
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"A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars."
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall."
Mary Williams
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"A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
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"Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me."
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"Not entirely to my refined tastes. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Perfectly average."
Anthony Edwards
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me."
Emily Thompson
Emily Thompson October 06, 2025
"A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
Anthony Edwards
Anthony Edwards June 03, 2024
"An acceptable diversion. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time."
Barbara Moore
Barbara Moore May 11, 2024
"Not entirely to my refined tastes. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Perfectly average."
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"Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel."
Melissa Martinez
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"Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading."
Jacob Martinez
Jacob Martinez September 04, 2025
"Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Dorothy Taylor
Dorothy Taylor January 05, 2025
"Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading."
Eric Miller
Eric Miller February 20, 2024
"Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading."
Mark Allen
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
Joseph Wilson
Joseph Wilson June 02, 2024
"Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Christopher Taylor
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"A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me."
Betty Mitchell
Betty Mitchell December 29, 2025
"I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Betty King
Betty King January 05, 2024
"I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Elizabeth Wright
Elizabeth Wright February 01, 2025
"I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Emily Martin
Emily Martin September 11, 2024
"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me."
Sandra Gonzalez
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"Not entirely to my refined tastes. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Suitable if your reading queue is empty."
Patricia Phillips
Patricia Phillips August 19, 2024
"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me."
Andrew Moore
Andrew Moore July 16, 2024
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading."
Sandra Flores
Sandra Flores September 24, 2025
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Joshua Taylor
Joshua Taylor August 20, 2025
"A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me."
David Baker
David Baker September 14, 2024
"A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me."
Ryan Adams
Ryan Adams February 06, 2025
"Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading."
Barbara Moore
Barbara Moore June 02, 2024
"Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading."
Margaret Campbell
Margaret Campbell January 08, 2025
"It was adequate. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time."
Linda Diaz
Linda Diaz June 22, 2025
"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel."
Melissa Lewis
Melissa Lewis May 13, 2024
"A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Christopher Robinson
Christopher Robinson August 10, 2024
"I find myself somewhat conflicted. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time."
Richard Green
Richard Green February 15, 2024
"Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars."
Charles Garcia
Charles Garcia February 04, 2024
"Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading."
Donna Hernandez
Donna Hernandez August 30, 2024
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Edward Flores
Edward Flores July 27, 2024
"Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall."
Mary Williams
Mary Williams May 15, 2025
"Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading."
Sharon Sanchez
Sharon Sanchez June 05, 2025
"Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading."
David Edwards
David Edwards December 04, 2025
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
David Walker
David Walker August 22, 2024
"I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Thomas Robinson
Thomas Robinson November 21, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading."
Brian Edwards
Brian Edwards August 01, 2025
"Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading."
Mary Williams
Mary Williams November 04, 2025
"I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Karen Young
Karen Young September 11, 2024
"Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Margaret Brown
Margaret Brown October 11, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars."
Barbara Roberts
Barbara Roberts March 03, 2025
"A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Stephanie Lee
Stephanie Lee November 03, 2025
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Lisa Torres
Lisa Torres October 27, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Dorothy Jones
Dorothy Jones April 16, 2024
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading."
Richard Hernandez
Richard Hernandez January 12, 2024
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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