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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

4.85 95,253 ratings · 7,229 reviews
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Overview: A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints, Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day-to-day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

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Book details & editions

ISBN
8623679
Publication date
2010
Language
En-US
Pages
256 pages
Reading Options
PDF · EPUB · Mobi
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Adam Carolla
About the Author
Adam Carolla
12,761 Followers

After spending years working in the corporate world, Adam Carolla finally decided to pursue a lifelong passion for writing. They currently reside in a quiet suburb where they spend most of their time outlining new stories, reading extensively, and occasionally attempting to bake.

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Margaret Reyes
Margaret Reyes March 13, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Melissa Mitchell
Melissa Mitchell January 22, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
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I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Donald Garcia December 30, 2025
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Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Paul Carter June 17, 2025
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Kevin Martin September 27, 2025
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Lisa Carter January 22, 2024
An acceptable diversion. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. A fair 3 stars.
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Linda Hernandez August 27, 2024
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Christopher Thomas May 25, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
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Carol Nguyen March 22, 2024
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
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Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Richard Turner October 06, 2025
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Emily Edwards
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Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
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I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Jacob Baker
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
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A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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An acceptable diversion. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. A fair 3 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
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I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Ryan Garcia
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Amanda Lee
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
James  Parker
James Parker January 13, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Michelle Lewis
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Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Donna Brown
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
Michael Anderson
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I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Steven Nguyen
Steven Nguyen October 12, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Carol Nguyen
Carol Nguyen April 24, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Joseph Green
Joseph Green November 20, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Betty Miller
Betty Miller January 10, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Thomas Diaz
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. A fair 3 stars.
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A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Joshua Turner
Joshua Turner January 01, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
Donna Rodriguez
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Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Kevin Martin
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
Ashley Collins
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
Michael Lopez
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Kimberly Miller
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Ryan Garcia
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
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David Miller
David Miller July 07, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Lisa Carter
Lisa Carter July 13, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Deborah Anderson
Deborah Anderson January 15, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
Richard Ramirez
Richard Ramirez March 04, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Kevin Martin January 28, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Paul Carter
Paul Carter September 11, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
Melissa Gomez
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Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Matthew Green
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Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Daniel Torres
Daniel Torres July 15, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Mary Young
Mary Young September 14, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Jennifer Martinez
Jennifer Martinez December 21, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Elizabeth Jackson
Elizabeth Jackson February 08, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Brian Roberts
Brian Roberts April 17, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Emily Brown
Emily Brown September 05, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Jennifer White
Jennifer White November 15, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Sharon Wright
Sharon Wright October 09, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Carol Torres
Carol Torres June 03, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Elizabeth Wilson
Elizabeth Wilson April 16, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Brian Nguyen
Brian Nguyen October 31, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Jessica Campbell
Jessica Campbell January 02, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Margaret Lopez
Margaret Lopez April 01, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Dorothy Lee
Dorothy Lee February 19, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Matthew Allen
Matthew Allen March 22, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Michelle Smith
Michelle Smith September 24, 2025
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Joseph Martinez
Joseph Martinez July 26, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Elizabeth Miller
Elizabeth Miller April 07, 2025
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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